Be good or be gone.
November 13, 2010 § Leave a comment
“I put you on a pedestal they put you on they pill.”- New England-Billy Bragg
Fuck it. I’m a liar. I’m a clean natural liar. I do it because I can and because I’m good at it. I lied to you and I’m sorry. Yes I found her. Yes she was with a man. But it was not her brother and she didn’t chase me around the corner. She was never in the next room. I just left her there in the café.
Why did I do it? I’m not really sure. I couldn’t tell you. Perhaps it was a self comfort thing. Perhaps it was the half of Tequila. Perhaps it was the 14 year old girl from Boston who sent me an email telling me she hopes that me and Paris girl get married. Who am I to break a young girls heart again? I’m sorry Sarah, truly I am, but it looks like me and Paris girl won’t be getting hitched, I would love to tell you otherwise, hell I tried to, I really did, but these are the breaks kid. Your still young, roll with the punches, be somebody.
You may have started to get in sync with my train of thoughts these days, so you might realise what I went and did after I saw her. If you guessed got drunk off my ass, you were right. I hate waking up on the floor, the beds just there man! Would it have been so hard to just get into it? Hotel’s in Paris are like none anywhere else in the world. Imagine Orwell’s 1984, but without the fear. Everyone’s a not caring cog in machine that cares just as much the sum of it’s parts. I have no rights to feel betrayed by her, but that has never stopped me before.
What a stupid fucking trip. San Francisco to Paris for a girl I don’t know the name of. Fuck it, it’s this sort of thing that makes me feel like I’m still young. Like I’ve still got it in me. Like I could still be who I want to be. That’s why people do stupid things, because they make us feel alive and they make us smile on public transport. Those are the people who are truly happy, the ones who are smiling at strangers on trains.
I’m waiting for my orders from the magazine to find out my next port of call and place to adventure. Maxi funeral is coming up but I will not be talking about that on here. Some things are better left untalked about
Ever since I put my email address on here I’ve been getting a load of really positive feedback, it’s great. Thank you. Feel free to email me about anything. I will keep writing as long as people keep reading. Tell your friends, throw the link about on facebook, the more the merrier.
Yours Sincerely Simon Blake. ( Not the famous one )
No Longer An Astronaut.