There’s no key there’s no plan, just remember that.

January 30, 2011 § 1 Comment

“I’m doing what I really like and I’m getting paid for it.” “No Key No Plan – Okkervil River.

I never got on with my brother, not one bit. The problems between us were many. We both rejected our middle-class upbringing but in very different ways. In dress sense, manners, education and political views he very much favoured the upper class. While me in music taste, dress sense, manners and political views favoured the lower, what’s more I held a large amount of loathing for everything he stood for. In my opinion he had no right to act the way he did given the way we were brought up. 

Another problem we had was in education he excelled, on top of this he never got in trouble. He kept quite and he worked because he had nothing else to do. He never rolled in at 8.30 am cut up and bloody barely conscious, he never broke any windows or punched anyone out, his friends never threw up in our front room. He was a dream for my mother. He acted the way she always dreamed her son would. He passed through adolescence like a dream through my parents head. While I, as regular readers may imagine, was a drunk punk fuck up. His teachers loved him. My teacher wondered why I couldn’t be more like him, something I probably shouldn’t have resented him for, but still, I did.

It carried on as we got older. When he went to university my parents went to see him about every month. When I went to university they came to town twice, first to drop off my stuff, secondly for graduation. Granted there were vast differences in distance between our uni’s and our home, but still.

He was never a fighter. I suppose in our family we could always go to our parents with our problem, that option was always there, but we never took it. Never. People say that a problem shared is a problem halved, but for me this just wasn’t true. A problem shared is a problem that you can’t just turn off. A problem shared is out of your control. A problem shared is trouble. We sat on our problems. We thought our shit through. We got on with it. It made us strong and it made as smart. So in that respect I can’t blame him for never being there for me when I was in trouble, but that doesn’t mean I won’t.  

He was stubborn as fuck as well, that always pissed me off. We only ever argue. Fuck it, what can you do about these things? That’s just the way we are.  Very little annoys me more than spoilt rude children. I’m currently on a train journey in which one is being very rude to his mother. Far be it from me to encourage slapping children but if ever there was an advertisement it this little fat kid. My adventure with the band starts in a few days. For legal reasons I can’t mention the name. Mainly because I know the boys and I can’t write all the shit we will be getting up to if you know who they are. Although, once we get going I’m sure that anyone who does a jot of research will be able to find out who I’m with.

It’s going to be like the bad old days.

No Longer an Astronaut.

Simon Blake. x


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