News is dead. Twitter did it.

April 6, 2011 § 1 Comment

“Maybe we could break your ankle clean and unsuspiciously, an E.R trip, a doctors slip and could share your pills with me.” – The Next Four Months – Okkervil River.

At times on this website I have been distant, distraught, strange, often making little to no sense, sometimes even suicidal. It may have worried anyone with half a mind to care which seem to be few and far between on here, not that I am complaining. But I post tonight from sober mind. Not that my sobriety and levels of making sense are in any way parallel. Nor is my levels for sobriety and happiness. In my opinion the whole deal with drink is that it takes what your feeling, even if you don’t know your feeling it, and it blows it up. It multiplies it by the amount of units you have drunk. It’s scary. Honest to god. Lonely and scary. I haven’t been in a stable relationship for a very long time now, sex with strangers is losing the edge it barely had in the first place. It’s just sex with strangers. I’m yet to work out if the people who are staisfied with living like that are mentally stronger or weaker than I am, either way, that shit’s taking it’s tole on me. Maybe it’s a moral thing, I wouldn’t really know. Some people turn to god, but I never could. It’s not that I don’t believe, it’s just hard to explain. I once heard a quote that said “I’m not afraid of God, but I am afraid of him.” That sums it up for me. Fear drives us in some cases, especially in religion. Catholic‘s can splutter their last and if they don’t sin between then and the light and the end of the tunnel, then that’s it, you’ve earned heaven, all liberty bells, congrats, maybe that’s why so many have put children through so much shit, how do they sleep at night? Asking for help is not really in my nature. I have only ever done it drunk off my ass. I question my best friends, I’m suspicious that they only listen through pitty. Bad. Bad. Bad.

The dedicated to this will noticed that this blog has stopped really talking about my life, stopped naming the places and people that I personally meet, I’m not really sure why it has taken this direction, maybe it’s a subconscious way of telling I’m bored of my life and that you would be too. All this really is is self-indulgence, is that what the internet has been reduced too? Twitter stories about celebs going for a wank? News is dead. Twitter did it.

Thank you.  Simon Blake. No Longer an Astronaut.


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