The moment you are forced to remember that your ancestors fought to the death.
September 1, 2011 § 2 Comments
“There’s this switch that gets hit and it just stops making sense.” – Hit the Switch – Bright Eyes.
There’s a special sort of fear. An extreme form. Some go their whole lives without feeling it. Some will feel it all to often. It is wildly different to the everyday fear. Everyday fear seems mundane compare to this. It’s the fear you get when something threatening is happening and you know that you are isolated. You know that there is no relying on your friends to get out of this, no fathers back to hide behind, no safety in numbers. You have to rely on you. Your brain. Your body. The same body that you had to rely on in your weakest moments, the same brain that made all those mistakes. These are the tools you have to deliver you from evil. Some will say that god is with them, and that that gives them strength. Some of those people are telling the truth, they would take strength from which ever god they were brought up to believe in or turned to in time of need. Some would be just as scared as you. Often fear snaps faith. People turn to faith in times of need like it owes them. Like faith turns to them when times are good. It is in these moments we find out what is truly inside us. You loose that reliance on those around you and make piece with the fact that there are hard times ahead before you get to where you want to be. You dig down deep inside. You remember every moment that you stood up for yourself. Every moment you impressed yourself with new levels of aggression. The moments you took no shit. Then you swallow hard. Fill those lungs. And you face whatever it is that you have to face. And should it become a matter of him or me. You try and tell yourself that you would make sure it was him. Even if, you know, deep down, that you haven’t got it in you. Even if you say you do.