Wake up Maggie, I think I’ve got something to say to you.
September 9, 2011 § 1 Comment
I had an idea. A thought I think. A vague mental blur of a perspective that I wanted to express. But it went. It was lost up here. Along with my morals and my innocents. Along with the politics of being young. Along with my old friends. But I’m happy. It was just a point I was trying to make. Something that I wanted to communicate to you. Whoever you are. Where ever and however you are. Life is good right now. I think. I know. It’s working. Life.
No matter how much we stand tall, put on our best hard face and walk around like we own the place everyone needs someone. It’s human nature to want that bond. That connection. Whether it’s that warm, reassuring feeling of a close friend who calms you down and makes you smile for simply getting lost in the conversation. Or that strange twisting chemistry between two lovers. That odd, often unpredictable, chemistry. It’s dangerous. Anyone who has lived and loved and lost will tell you. They say hell has no fury like a woman scorned but fury never scared me as much as the moments where I was all alone and the victim of recent heartache. Love is beautiful. Love is the goal. Life is about love. Love is dangerous. So dangerous that cowards treat it like a super bio hazard from the movies, dressed up in white suites, approaching cautiously making breathing noises like Darth Vader, reaching for the sterilized tongs, god forbid they actually touch it, god forbid they actually feel something. No, that’s not the approach for me, no bio suite for me, maybe that’s where I have been going wrong. I jumped in. I grabbed the bio hazard the second I knew what it was. And yes, I got sick. Sicker than I have ever been. I think it was worth it even if that wasn’t my thoughts at the time. What I’m saying is, to quote Bob Dylan “Get sick, get well.” Chance your arm. You would wear that heart on your chest much better if it was on your sleeve, put it down there, it suites you. So what if you get hurt? Embarrassed? That’s the worst that can come of a failed jaunt. The best of what could come of it? To me that always outweighed a little pain, a little embarrassment. I know this is a message I have said before. Numerous times. But there’s a reason for that. It’s because I want you to be happy. I want you to smile. Please, now, go on, smile. Now, go get who you want.
I started this blog when I was crazy. My mind was a little warped and pulled and twisted into a strange shape where it didn’t really fit inside my head anymore. I had to put the excess somewhere. I had to store away the crazy if I was even going to attempt to keep at the straight and narrow. Now there is less crazy. But it’s still a place to come. To expand thought. To share with the few loyal ones. This one’s for you. This bar is ours.
No Longer An Astronaut.