June 9, 2014 § 2 Comments
“Darling, darling that dams gonna give, it’s inevitable the way that you live.” – Dogwood Blossom – Fionn Reagan.
Not for the first time, but maybe for the last, I’ve been thinking about cashing my chips. I think I might finally be out. My soul and only hope, my last fleeting chance at redemption turned out to be my end. The light at the end of the tunnel turned out to be a train. The parachute didn’t open, the brake line was cut, the resuscitation simply did not work. So now I’m fucked and lost and hopeless. Broken and lethargic. See that’s the warning sign. That’s the fabled red flag. It isn’t when people start making all that noise about what they’re going to do. It’s when they just give up, give in, let it get the better of them. But by then it’s probably too late. It’s all a mess anyway. Fuck it, I’m going back to bed. Maybe I just need some sleep. I would hope so, but that’s really not my thing any more.