September 23, 2016 § Leave a comment
“You came here to die.”
It was written in foot high, jagged black letters on the wall in front of me. I imagine it started life as flash across the synapse in some THC drowned mind – this is a good idea, a good line – That person though before scribbling it across scrap paper only to find it days later. Inspiration takes many shapes, every size. When she found the scrap she burned with excitement, another mark she could make. The line wasn’t just words. It was a window to an opportunity. It was a goal, a drive, a focus to be more than just drunk at her desk job. A cause.
She went through the day. Got through the day. Swinging from branch to aimless branch in a world of jargon and buzzwords, abbreviation made by people too busy to spend an extra superfluous breath on a syllable. Each and every day she loathed it; But not today. Today wasn’t the office. Today the office was a necessary evil. A means to an end. A cover story of sorts.
She didn’t care about make-up or nails. She didn’t give a fuck about what she wore. She didn’t have to. It was stupid but she didn’t care. The key of time turned in the lock on the cell door and it became acceptable for her to leave for another day.
The night drew in, the black coat and the gloves, the scarf and the black hat. She always worked on her eyes before she went out, the only part of skin showing, if she was going to get caught she wanted to go down glamorous. If she had to lose control, she was going to
Out of the door, head down, over the street. She knew the mark, a block and half away as she put it. She’d see it every day. It’d give her hope everyday. She didn’t need anyone else to understand. She knew the street lights from her walk home. The dark space, the opportunity. She arrived and sprayed and left. She was cold and efficient.
She knew what it meant. It was a reminder to her in foot high letters. She was reminding herself she’s too comfortable. Too numb. She risked the comfort to rattle the cage.
She’d planted hope.
It read; You came here to die.